[ As someone who spent years hiding (and running), who can get overwhelmed by people when he's forced to deal with them for so long, Derek hardly questions Nico's presence in his room. Though the memories might have been false, might have been forced on them by Wonderland, that doesn't change the fact that there are still emotions connected to those memories and the people associated with them. Nico is just as welcome in his room in the mansion as he was in Derek's dorm room, when he was fifteen and cocky, a place he hasn't been in a very, very long time.
Stiles is with pack, Scott or Cora or Isaac, at the very least safe if not happy (because when you wake up from nightmares as frequently as either of them do, you have to hold onto what you can get). So it's just the two of them and the animals in the room, with Paige laying against Nico's hip to keep him company. Derek sits at his desk, feet propped up and puppy curled up in his lap while he goes through the various books that he and Stiles have collected from the library and the closets, marking notes in the margins and adding tabs to reference them later. Mythology and folklore is still just as useful here as it was back home, especially considering the various worlds everyone comes from.
There isn't really any need to talk-- they'd already had that moment earlier, and this is the moment where he can relax in a safe environment, away from those that he's hiding from. Much as he loves his packmates, he understands that feeling pretty well. The silence is comfortable, there's no pressure to speak, and it's just... nice.
It doesn't matter that this is the first time that he and Nico have interacted as what they are, doesn't matter that he smells something like grave dirt and frost, something he associates with death but not in any sort of ominous way. It's just... a funeral's scent, almost.
When he notices Nico moving, Derek angles his head around his book and onto his shoulder, looking down at the phone. Swiveling in his chair, he drops his feet and carefully rolls forward, reaching to take the phone from him. ]
Well, depends. Good for emergencies and late nights, bad when you want to be left alone.
[ Nico can sense the death about Derek, the ones that have befell him as well as the death that seems to linger wherever he goes -- ones that are not his own, but the mourning of those he's lost. Nico wonders if he carries the same weight.
when the phone is taken from his hand, Nico drops his arm back down to his side, reaching to run his hand along Paige to pet her a few times. he's never actually had a cat come near him, so being able to pet her has been an experience all on its own. paired with the way she rumbles with a purr, Nico's fairly sure that if it wouldn't be really awful, he might steal her away one day. (he makes a mental note to visit her, when he finally stops hiding and returns to his old room.)
he knows that he should probably answer Percy in some capacity, that he should say something to someone, but he's so terrified that the fear is suffocating. of what they might say, of how Hazel might react, how Percy will treat him, the questions or assumptions that will follow. Nico just doesn't know how to navigate that in any capacity.
(but part of him wants to answer. part of him wants to pick up the phone and return a call, to answer one of the texts. because the memories are still fresh from the event, because this Percy hasn't yet had to suffer through the horror of tartarus, because he doesn't want to worry anyone.)
he inhales, sighs it out quietly, gaze falling away from Derek. ]
Am I a bad person for not answering him? [ pause, brief; born from hesitance in voicing the following admission. ] I feel like one. [ but I'm not ready. ]
[ While Nico is occupied with Paige, Derek scrolls through the messages from what he's assuming is Percy Jackson's number-- he hasn't spoken to him, not in the real side of the mansion, where memories are made and not given, but Isaac has and he knows that much-- and regarding them thoughtfully. On one hand, he'd be in the same position as Nico on this one, wanting to be left alone but also not wanting to worry him.
On the other hand, he's been in Percy's position before with Stiles, back when he'd gone missing for a couple days before Christmas came rolling in. He'd been worried out of his mind, despite the fact that they'd been avoiding each other for almost a month at that point. So he can understand both ends of this problem, in a way.
Not the same way as Nico is dealing with, but enough that he just hums a noncommittal sound in response at first, a sort of understanding but not a real answer to his question. He's occupied in what he's doing, because he knows: Derek just taps out a response to Percy, reassurance that he's all right. ]
You're not a bad person for not answering him. Not when you need the time and space to figure out things.
[ Nico offers a non-committal shrug in response. because he gets it, he does; Derek is right that he needs some sort of wide berth in order to deal with the echoes of the event. because he still feels so much from it, still has all the lingering feelings about Percy, can still remember what nightmare-less nights were like, the lack of grief that settles so heavy in his chest.
they may have only been in that alternate land for a few days, but the adjustment back to this life was going to take longer than that. paired with needing to sort out his feelings (he had insisted for so long that he was over Percy, but now-) and giving space for everyone else to (hopefully) forget what happened, it shouldn't have been much of a surprise that he'd gone into some sort of hiding in order to let the time pass.
Nico huffs out a bit of a sigh, staring straight ahead at the wall on the opposite end of the room. ]
I'm not sure I even know what I'm trying to figure out. [ a beat. ] I think part of me is just too much of a coward to face any of them.
I don't really think it's cowardice. [ Derek sets aside the phone on his desk, just in case Percy decides to reply to him or anyone else sends him more messages before he's prepared to talk to them. And then he has to think about his words, picking up the shiba puppy that's been half-asleep on his lap ever since Nico came into the room. It stirs a little, yawning big at him as he moves to tip back in his chair and set it against his shoulder like a baby. There's hardly a reaction as it snuffles at his neck, before going back to its nap. ]
Wonderland has this habit of giving you something, and then pulling the rug out from underneath you. This time, you wound up with something you didn't think or know you could have, and it affected more than just you.
[ Thoughtfully scratching at small, fuzzy ears, he breathes out a slow sigh as he considers it. Because it didn't take long for him to figure things out, for Nico to tell him enough to get the whole picture. ]
It's overwhelming, and now you have to figure out where you all stand.
[ which isn't Nico agreeing that it isn't cowardice, because part of him still believes it is. still knows it is. it's not just about allowing people to fall back into their previous places, in finding their footing again after an event like that, it's- not just about discerning where all of them stand in relation to each other.
it's about how he can't even think to face Percy or Annabeth or Hazel. how he feels like, if the chance were given right now, he isn't even sure he could face Bianca. because it felt like a betrayal to her, alongside everything else. he had forgotten about her completely, Wonderland had taken all his memories of her and substituted them for something else, for another life. it felt like disrespect to her memory. ]
I really miss my sister. [ he pauses, briefly, continues so he can clarify. ] Not Hazel. I had another sister, before Hazel.
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no subject
Stiles is with pack, Scott or Cora or Isaac, at the very least safe if not happy (because when you wake up from nightmares as frequently as either of them do, you have to hold onto what you can get). So it's just the two of them and the animals in the room, with Paige laying against Nico's hip to keep him company. Derek sits at his desk, feet propped up and puppy curled up in his lap while he goes through the various books that he and Stiles have collected from the library and the closets, marking notes in the margins and adding tabs to reference them later. Mythology and folklore is still just as useful here as it was back home, especially considering the various worlds everyone comes from.
There isn't really any need to talk-- they'd already had that moment earlier, and this is the moment where he can relax in a safe environment, away from those that he's hiding from. Much as he loves his packmates, he understands that feeling pretty well. The silence is comfortable, there's no pressure to speak, and it's just... nice.
It doesn't matter that this is the first time that he and Nico have interacted as what they are, doesn't matter that he smells something like grave dirt and frost, something he associates with death but not in any sort of ominous way. It's just... a funeral's scent, almost.
When he notices Nico moving, Derek angles his head around his book and onto his shoulder, looking down at the phone. Swiveling in his chair, he drops his feet and carefully rolls forward, reaching to take the phone from him. ]
Well, depends. Good for emergencies and late nights, bad when you want to be left alone.
no subject
when the phone is taken from his hand, Nico drops his arm back down to his side, reaching to run his hand along Paige to pet her a few times. he's never actually had a cat come near him, so being able to pet her has been an experience all on its own. paired with the way she rumbles with a purr, Nico's fairly sure that if it wouldn't be really awful, he might steal her away one day. (he makes a mental note to visit her, when he finally stops hiding and returns to his old room.)
he knows that he should probably answer Percy in some capacity, that he should say something to someone, but he's so terrified that the fear is suffocating. of what they might say, of how Hazel might react, how Percy will treat him, the questions or assumptions that will follow. Nico just doesn't know how to navigate that in any capacity.
(but part of him wants to answer. part of him wants to pick up the phone and return a call, to answer one of the texts. because the memories are still fresh from the event, because this Percy hasn't yet had to suffer through the horror of tartarus, because he doesn't want to worry anyone.)
he inhales, sighs it out quietly, gaze falling away from Derek. ]
Am I a bad person for not answering him? [ pause, brief; born from hesitance in voicing the following admission. ] I feel like one. [ but I'm not ready. ]
no subject
On the other hand, he's been in Percy's position before with Stiles, back when he'd gone missing for a couple days before Christmas came rolling in. He'd been worried out of his mind, despite the fact that they'd been avoiding each other for almost a month at that point. So he can understand both ends of this problem, in a way.
Not the same way as Nico is dealing with, but enough that he just hums a noncommittal sound in response at first, a sort of understanding but not a real answer to his question. He's occupied in what he's doing, because he knows: Derek just taps out a response to Percy, reassurance that he's all right. ]
You're not a bad person for not answering him. Not when you need the time and space to figure out things.
no subject
they may have only been in that alternate land for a few days, but the adjustment back to this life was going to take longer than that. paired with needing to sort out his feelings (he had insisted for so long that he was over Percy, but now-) and giving space for everyone else to (hopefully) forget what happened, it shouldn't have been much of a surprise that he'd gone into some sort of hiding in order to let the time pass.
Nico huffs out a bit of a sigh, staring straight ahead at the wall on the opposite end of the room. ]
I'm not sure I even know what I'm trying to figure out. [ a beat. ] I think part of me is just too much of a coward to face any of them.
no subject
Wonderland has this habit of giving you something, and then pulling the rug out from underneath you. This time, you wound up with something you didn't think or know you could have, and it affected more than just you.
[ Thoughtfully scratching at small, fuzzy ears, he breathes out a slow sigh as he considers it. Because it didn't take long for him to figure things out, for Nico to tell him enough to get the whole picture. ]
It's overwhelming, and now you have to figure out where you all stand.
no subject
[ which isn't Nico agreeing that it isn't cowardice, because part of him still believes it is. still knows it is. it's not just about allowing people to fall back into their previous places, in finding their footing again after an event like that, it's- not just about discerning where all of them stand in relation to each other.
it's about how he can't even think to face Percy or Annabeth or Hazel. how he feels like, if the chance were given right now, he isn't even sure he could face Bianca. because it felt like a betrayal to her, alongside everything else. he had forgotten about her completely, Wonderland had taken all his memories of her and substituted them for something else, for another life. it felt like disrespect to her memory. ]
I really miss my sister. [ he pauses, briefly, continues so he can clarify. ] Not Hazel. I had another sister, before Hazel.