I was not the alpha that he deserved, Scott. I was incredibly far from that, actually. And I think I still am, even if he's come to me for a quiet place to try and process everything that's happened so far.
He chose you for a reason, and I don't think he's going to take back the fact he considers you his alpha now. Especially since you've always been a pretty good one, even if it was to just Allison and Stiles at first. You are, actually, a true alpha.
So quit with the self depreciation and assumptions. Look what good that did me.
[ His returning text message comes awhile after as well - Scott flicking buttons only to delete what he says a moment later. ]
he's going to look at me differently he used to look at me like he wanted me i don't know if i can face him
[ He'd planned to leave it at that, but once he presses send he feels like there was a missed opportunity, or something similar. So he types up another quick message and hits send. ]
for the record i think you're a good alpha i don't really know how to lead or anything you always had a plan or knew what to do i guess i admire that
I don't think he's going to look at you differently. At least not the way you're expecting him to.
[ Sometimes, these teens say things that leave him wondering how to answer. It's been surprisingly frequent recently. ]
Truth is, I rarely ever have any idea what I'm doing. Laura didn't really, either, but at least she was primed to become alpha after my mother. Neither of us were brought up with any idea of how to do this, Scott. It's sort of giving us a steep learning curve. But you've got the heart for it.
[ He thinks he might've, once. Now? Derek doesn't think so. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
i feel like i'm letting him down
like i'm not the alpha he deserves
i think you should be his alpha again
you're better for him and he deserves you
you're a better alpha than me
1/2
[ There's a very, very long pause before he actually replies again, because he reads that second message. ]
no subject
He chose you for a reason, and I don't think he's going to take back the fact he considers you his alpha now. Especially since you've always been a pretty good one, even if it was to just Allison and Stiles at first. You are, actually, a true alpha.
So quit with the self depreciation and assumptions. Look what good that did me.
no subject
he's going to look at me differently
he used to look at me like he wanted me
i don't know if i can face him
[ He'd planned to leave it at that, but once he presses send he feels like there was a missed opportunity, or something similar. So he types up another quick message and hits send. ]
for the record i think you're a good alpha
i don't really know how to lead or anything
you always had a plan or knew what to do
i guess i admire that
no subject
At least not the way you're expecting him to.
[ Sometimes, these teens say things that leave him wondering how to answer. It's been surprisingly frequent recently. ]
Truth is, I rarely ever have any idea what I'm doing.
Laura didn't really, either, but at least she was primed to become alpha after my mother.
Neither of us were brought up with any idea of how to do this, Scott.
It's sort of giving us a steep learning curve.
But you've got the heart for it.
[ He thinks he might've, once. Now? Derek doesn't think so. ]